


I would know, I would show, the special love I have for you (my baby blue)

by janie_tangerine



Series: here comes my man [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breaking Bad References, Breaking Bad Spoilers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, idek guys it happened, in which i write sequels to stuff three years later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6617437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which, a while after the events of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/788313">let the good night decide what she wants me to find</a>, Brienne and Jaime do in fact watch the Breaking Bad premiere. (And the finale, but that's a slightly different story.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I would know, I would show, the special love I have for you (my baby blue)

**Author's Note:**

> So. Uhm. Back when I wrote the first fic linked over there, a few people asked for a sequel and I thought why not, but I never quite got around to it. Then _I_ actually had caught up with Breaking Bad and it was when the last season was airing so I thought 'hey let's write that sequel so I can catch two birds with one stone and cry about my BrB feels through fic'. Then I guess I decided I was getting too into details and wrote like 90% of this and then... left it there gathering dust.
> 
>  _Then_ last month I saw the [Jaime/Brienne](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/PremiereFics) premiere fic challenge thing and thought 'hey wait I DID start that one where they watched the Breaking Bad premiere' so I figured I could finish it. Then I did and I realized I just needed... the last page, ops, so here we go guys it's said and done. Years later but that's my timing for you. And I even finished two days before the deadline, yay ;)
> 
> DISCLAIMERS: nothing here belongs to me. Also, I tried to keep spoilers to a minimum back then and you should be able to understand the Breaking Bad references even if you know just the basics about the show. There's a sort of spoiler for the finale in the last part but it's mostly about a certain line of dialogue so you know whether to skip this or not if that much spoiling bothers you. (Also I really hope it's understandable anyway - if I went too pseudo-meta I'm honestly sorry.) The title is from Badfinger's [Baby Blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkA7xQb6uPk), aka the BrB finale theme song which might improve your reading experience if you listen to it in the second part of this. Series title is from the same Gaslight Anthem song I stole the title for the previous fic. ~~Also idk if you're the kind of person getting put off by *language* but just to be thorough: they do insult each other a lot fairly lovingly here. With a specific insult that is basically one of BrB catchphrases. Don't worry they don't mean it.~~ Okay I'm done now bye happy S6 premiere day and I'll vaguely saunter downwards now.

“For fuck’s sake, I didn’t think Walt could become _more_ of a dick than he already was,” Jaime shouts at the tv by the time the last _Breaking Bad_ season premiere has gone past the thirty minute mark. Brienne doesn’t try to stop herself from smiling just slightly and takes another sip of her tea, not saying anything and sneaking looks at her left. Not that she hadn’t known, since they did spend the previous two weeks re-watching all of the show so she knows that Jaime isn’t the kind to watch his television in silence, but his reaction to things he hasn’t already seen is ten times more amusing, not that she doesn’t agree with him in the first place.

“Why, you’re not one of those fans who keep on praising his… badass side or however they call it on the official forum?”

Jaime snorts and shakes his head as the last commercial starts. “Are you joking? I’ve been waiting for karma to present him the bill for two seasons. As you should have deduced.”

She kind of had, after marathoning four seasons with him – which has made her evenings a lot more bearable. At times she can’t believe that they’ve known each other for real for not even a month and that they get along so nicely, also considering that during their first proper meeting he was about to jump off a bridge. He doesn’t look like he still wants to do that now, or at least Brienne thinks so, and while he hasn’t spent the night on her couch again after that first time, he’s showed up every day for the pre-last-season marathon. Brienne has stopped working overtime so that they could get started at normal hours. Until now, she hadn’t realized that half of the reason she put in so much overtime was that she didn’t exactly have anything better to do, but now that she does (for the moment) she has decided that the department can do with her regular hours. Especially since overtime isn’t paid, and it’s not as if her position requires for her to adjust her worktime to the company’s needs.

“I know,” she replies, not trying to hide her amusement. “But riling you up on this particular subject is _hilarious_.” It’s everything she’s done from the moment she realized that he hates being loomed with the Walter White unrepentant fans brigade. He pretends to be angry, but she knows he likes the arguing, and it’s all in good fun, so she’s not going to pretend that she isn’t doing it on purpose either.

“Traitor.” It’s plain obvious that he doesn’t mean it at all and they both sit back as the commercials are over and they get into the last part of the episode, momentarily forgetting the argument.

When it’s over, she feels as if her breath was knocked out of her – _damn_ , that was tense. Not that she hadn’t expected it, this show is _always_ tense, but it’s obvious that they’re kicking it up a notch or ten for the last run.

“Holy shit,” Jaime mutters, “the next seven are going to be fucking hilarious. If I don’t get a heart attack I’ll be surprised.”

“I’ll have to agree with you on that. And I’m really glad I quit putting in overtime or I’d have come home too late.”

“Told you,” he replies smoothly as he turns to look at her, “you’re wasted at my dad’s company. Open that damned bakery, won’t you?”

“That’s more hilarious than the next seven episodes combined could be,” she sighs. “Do you want some more tea?”

He seems to ponder it and then follows her back to the kitchen – he sits down at the table as she puts the kettle on, the scene so similar and yet so different from the first time the two of them had breakfast in this same room the morning after she ran into him while he was about to jump into the river.

She’s about to ask something about the premiere, if only to avoid the conversation falling back on that particular issue – after that first day, they never exactly talked about it out loud and to be entirely truthful Brienne isn’t sure that she wants to do that at all, since he doesn’t look like he’s going to try it again anytime soon and there’s probably no point in bringing it up all over again.

But then his cellphone starts ringing. He takes it out of his pocket, looks at the caller, sighs loudly and answers it – Brienne can bet money that he’s not in a hurry to take it.

“Cersei,” he says into the receiver, not trying to hide that he’s not entirely thrilled to have this conversation. “Nice hearing from you, how long has it been? Two months? No, I’m not _guilt tripping_ you, but you know, that’s really nice, considering what happened the last time we saw each other. What? No, I’m doing fine actually. No thanks to you or Dad, by the way. Say what? And how is that any of your business?” He stays silent before snorting out loud after the answer comes. “No you won’t,” he says then. “Unless you want your entire department to crumble on itself… believe me, while Dad has made sure to let me know that as far as he’s concerned I can die in a ditch and he won’t show up at the funeral, he _would_ be concerned if you fired one of the three competent people working for you, and you know that if you did the entire statistics division would fall to pieces, because you _know_ that Taena Merryweather can’t do that job worth a damn. And since the last time we saw each other you were so sure that you didn’t ever want anything to do with me, then I don’t see how is this any of your business.”

 _Oh, fuck_ , Brienne thinks, someone must have found out that they’re seeing each other. Because there’s no doubt that she’s the subject of this conversation, who else could that be?

“No it’s not. And now I have things to do. Yes, they might involve watching television. No, it’s still not your business, and if I want to take some time off work I can’t see how it’s not doable, since I haven’t had time off for _years_. Next time, try not to wait two months to call, will you?”

And then he presses the red button on the phone before turning it off for good.

“Clearly she didn’t ask once how I was doing,” he mutters before shaking his head and pocketing the phone.

“That – that was about me, wasn’t it?” Brienne asks, conveniently moving the hot water to the teapot so that she doesn’t have to look at him in the eye.

“Apparently someone at the company saw us when we had dinner at that fish and chips place a few weeks ago,” he shrugs. “So _clearly_ she calls after two months of radio silence to tell me that it was unacceptable that somehow I was seeing you out of everyone.”

“And – did she want to fire me?”

“She threatened to do that if I didn’t _stop this nonsense_ , but I wouldn’t worry if I were you. She’s never going to do that because she knows that if she did, she’d fuck up statistics for good. You’re honestly the only high-level qualified person in there and somewhere else you’d be gaining a lot more money, and Cersei would know that too, so no, she can’t fire you. Not on account of _me_ anyway since as stated, our illustrious father cares more about his profits than about what I do.”

“You know that it’s fucked up, right?”

“Wish I didn’t,” he sighs as he leans back into the chair. “Not as if she would want to see me in person anytime soon, so if my sister thinks I’m doing what she’s asking just because _she_ ’s the one who wants me to do it, she can forget it.”

It shouldn’t make her feel slightly warmer, knowing that he wouldn’t stop seeing her, but it kind of does, if only because she hasn’t had close friends since high school was over, she moved into the city and left behind the few ones she had, and it’s been nice to have someone to talk to regularly with whom she can go eat fish and chips and watch her favorite show, and she knows she won’t give it up either if she can help it.

She starts pouring the tea a moment later.

“She doesn’t even know,” he says as she puts the mug in front of him.

“What?” Brienne thinks she knows what he’s talking about, but still, she doesn’t want to be the one bringing it up.

“That I tried to jump off a stupid bridge.” He shrugs before taking a sip of his tea. “Not that she asked _why_ it is that we’re seeing each other, so I wasn’t going to tell her, but I guess that waiting for her to see things from my perspective will be useless. So, are we watching that again?”

“You mean, the premiere?”

“’Course I mean the premiere. I probably lost details while wishing that Walt would just fucking die already.”

She snorts and tells him that of course they’re watching it again, and grabs a jar with the new batch of cookies she had ready for the occasion before going back to the living room.

She also knows a change of subject when she sees it, but she’s not going to press – he might not seem suicidal any more but relapses happen, and the thought that he might try it another time makes her throat almost close on itself for reasons that are probably better left alone. So they watch it again and Jaime doesn’t spare any part of the running commentary, not that she has a problem with it, until they’re halfway done and he speaks again.

“Damn, I hope that Skyler hasn’t really bought his speech or I’m going to have to find another favorite,” he tells the TV as he grabs one of the cookies.

“She’s your favorite?” Brienne can’t help asking – for some reason she hadn’t expected him to have that particular preference.

“Totally,” he answers. “How hasn’t it come up yet? Huh. We never discussed favorites. But yes, it’s always been her. Told you that I’m not in her husband’s fans brigade – she’s awesome. And has fucking guts of steel for that matter. Clearly, if she’s really buying his deal then I might have to reconsider a bit, but for now? No question. And since I came clean, you might as well tell me _your_ favorite. I suppose it’s not mine.”

“I like her, but no. It’s –”

“Wait, let me guess. With all the fun I’m not having lately, at least this could be interesting. So it’s not Skyler. I can safely guess it’s not Walt either.”

“Are you bloody kidding me, Lannister?”

“What I thought,” he snorts as he steals another cookie from her plate.

“There’s a jar in front of you, you know.”

“What’s the fun otherwise? Anyway, let’s see. Hm, right, give me a hint. Is it someone that might surprise me?”

“Not really,” Brienne says as she takes a replacement cookie. “I’m pretty obvious, with these things.”

“Obvious, huh? Well – oh. Tarth, are you telling me that the one object of your affections is Jesse?”

“I hadn’t thought I was _that_ obvious!” Apparently she was, though, because Jaime is chuckling in satisfaction.

“Come on, if it was obvious then it _had_ to be the only idiot with a conscience intact in that entire freak show.”

“That was what tipped you?”

“Well, he’s the only person in there who’s not a cop and who would have one hundred per cent stopped if they saw someone about to jump off a bridge. It wasn’t that hard.”

She knows she’s blushing red, but – he kind of has a point in all this. Also, that’s pretty much the main reason why Jesse is in fact her favorite character, so it’s not as if she can tell him that she’s wrong.

“Right. Nothing to add. You got me here. That’s pretty much it.”

“Lucky me that _he_ wasn’t passing next to a bridge a few weeks ago, though,” Jaime says under his breath, and for a moment Brienne thinks that she heard wrong, but – no, it was pretty clear even if not loudly spoken.

“What?” 

Right, she could have come up with a better answer, though. And maybe she could have sounded less surprised. Or less – less like, _oh-my-god-did-he-just-say-that_.

Jaime smirks and moves slightly closer, but the thing – the thing is that he looks as if he’s putting the smirk up while underneath he’s completely freaking out, and nothing about this is adding up.

“I think I made it clear,” Jaime says then. “I’ll admit that the guy’s cute and all, but my favorites tend to be _blondes_. Of the female variety.” He’s so close now, it’d take a second to – to –

The last thing she was expecting was the kiss to the corner of her mouth. Not a peck at all, but not even a proper kiss. Just his lips lingering there for a bit, a handful of seconds that feels like hours. It didn’t feel friendly at all, though, and if she understood right – no, she can’t have understood right, but the way Jaime is looking at her is suggesting that in fact it was _not_ friendly.

“And what if I happen to like brunettes but I was more than willing to make an exception?” That wasn’t probably a smart way of answering. It even sounds as awkward as she feels. “The eyes are the right color, anyway.” _That_ didn’t sound any surer than the rest of her small speech. If you can call it a speech.

She doesn’t know what she’s expecting.

It’s not his mouth on hers for a moment – enough to see that it was a serious kiss, but not enough to give her time to kiss back.

Then he leans away, staring straight at her, looking – nervous? Why should he be?

“Just tell me that I didn’t give myself another reason to go jump off that bridge for real,” he blurts a moment later, and for a moment she doesn’t get it, but then she _does_ , and –

Right. She is _not_ going to think about the fact that he just told her that this thing between them is a reason why he’s not jumping off any bridges. She’s, in fact, going to kiss him again, and she does a moment later, figuring that making him wait would be pure cruelty on her part, and he kisses back at once, one hand tangling into her hair, the right arm going around her waist at once, and Brienne hopes that it’s not completely obvious that she hasn’t kissed anyone in ages and that she’s never kissed anyone _this_ seriously. Not that he seems to mind, the way he’s cradling her neck with his left hand or the way his tongue is moving against hers – she outright moans into his mouth, and she knows she’s blushing a moment later, but it’s nowhere near enough to make her even think about moving away.

No moving away happens until a few minutes later, and he’s breathing in deeply when they do in fact part.

“If you even think about jumping off any bridges I’m killing you with my own hands, _bitch_ ,” she says a moment later, and right, that was not romantic in any way and her Jesse impression was most probably every kind of pitiful, but he laughs the laugh of someone who has just had a weight lifted off his shoulders.

“Duly noted,” he says, still grinning. “At this point, I suppose that instead of going for the third re-watch, maybe you’d be up for doing some breaking bad of your own? I suppose going upstairs with your boss’s brother _might_ count, or wouldn’t it?”

“I think so. Or – well. In my case it counts.” It _would_ – as far as Cersei Lannister is concerned, anyway.

Before they go upstairs, though, he kisses her again, and again, and they’re kissing as they climb up the stairs – she doesn’t know how they don’t fall down in a less than graceful heap. When they fall down into the mattress, he’s kissing her with such care and so thoroughly that she doesn’t even try to stop herself from moaning into his mouth in a way that’s way not proper, and she’s panting as hard as he is when Jaime moves back, his cheeks flushed and his eyes looking somewhat greener in the faint light coming in from the street.

“All right,” he says against her lips, still looking like he’s ridiculously and inordinately happy about this, “time to break bad, then?”

“Do your best,” Brienne replies breathlessly as his left hand cups her hip and his mouth falls down to her neck, his lips moving their way downwards, and she’s sure that she most probably looks as inordinately happy as he does right now.

 

\--

 

When Brienne comes into work two days after the season finale, everyone is sending her _weird_ looks.

Right. Because she called in sick when she’s never done that in all the time she’s been working for Lannister Inc., but it was one counted day. Also, no one can know that it was because the previous evening had consisted of watching the episode while eating blue hard candy, having a crying fit at the end in spite of her not so tender feelings for Walter White, finding out that Jaime was having the exact same problem and drowning the sadness with making out on the couch, which turned into the cover having to be sent to a dry cleaner. That was before they re-watched the finale and got so very shamelessly emotional about it, to the point where the following morning she just wanted to sleep in. Not that Jaime had complains. So they had slept in, had some more of the candy with breakfast and – well, the least embarrassing moment of the entire morning had been when they both set _Baby Blue_ as the cellphone ringtone for each other. About the rest – the less spoken the better. 

Anyway, it’s not like she owes an explanation to anyone.

Except that clearly ten minutes before her lunch break Cersei Lannister’s shadow is looming over her desk.

“Miss Tarth,” she says, sounding very calm. Brienne looks up at her and – her face is all businesslike smiles, but her eyes say an entire different story. She’s _angry_. “May I ask you a couple of questions?”

Brienne swallows and leans back in her chair, figuring that standing up would be a colossally bad idea. “Of course.”

“I was wondering, how are you feeling?”

“How am I – I’m fine, thank you. Why?”

“Well, you had never taken a day off until yesterday and I wanted to make sure you were doing well. Since you called in sick.”

“I – I wasn’t feeling that great during the week-end, but I’m doing great now. Thank you for asking.”

“I should hope it was nothing serious.”

“Uh, no, but I figured I would take a day to be sure it had passed. And – forgive me, but do you have a problem with it?”

Brienne can pinpoint the moment the office goes entirely silent. It’s not like anyone has ever talked back to any Lannister in charge, and Brienne _had_ in fact sounded pretty riled up. It’s not like it’s anyone’s business why she takes days off, right?

“Excuse me?”

“No, excuse _me_. I’ve worked here for years, and I have taken a sick day exactly once, not to mention all the extra time that I’ve never been paid for. I take _one_ day off and I have to get questioned about the reasons? I signed a contract stating I had a right to a certain amount, you should know that as my employer. If the aim of all that questioning was finding out _what_ I was doing, well, it’s my business. Now, may I take my lunch break?” Considering that Jaime was supposed to go with her and they were supposed to meet at the entrance five minutes ago, she really doesn’t want to keep him waiting.

“Have you ever been this anxious to go outside for it?”

At that, Brienne decides that she’s done and stands up – now at least _she_ ’s the one looking down. “It’s a free country, isn’t it? I can decide to go buy myself lunch if I wish so.”

The entire office is probably holding its breath for the answer.

Which never comes because right that moment the opening chords of _Baby Blue_ fill the room.

Ah, damn, she forgot to put her phone on silent.

She can see people looking fairly skeptical – right. The few times she forgot to put the phone on silent, the ring tone had been one of the regular implemented ones. Not _Badfinger_.

Brienne takes a deep breath and takes it out of the bag – right. It’s Jaime.

“Yes?” She answers, hoping that no one figures out who’s calling.

“You’re late, _bitch_ ,” Jaime says, entirely too cheerfully, and Brienne sort of has to grin to herself at least a bit. 

( _Normal couples, she supposes, call each other_ darling. _Evidently, it never was her destiny to be in a so-called normal relationship, but she’s sure she wouldn’t want it any other way._ ) 

“Well, I’m being held up.”

“You don’t say,” Jaime says, and – wait. That sounded _weird_ – as if –

Brienne raises her eyes and sees him coming into the room from just outside the door – oh dear, he’s probably been here the entire time, hasn’t he?

He closes the call and Cersei looks at the two of them, and… well. Brienne is going to bet money on the fact that whatever Tywin Lannister thinks on the matter, she’s going to be lose this job before the week is over.

Well, it’s not like she doesn’t have any money saved, if it actually does happen. Maybe it’s high time she breaks bad for real and opens the darned bakery.

“ _Jaime_?” Cersei hisses when he comes closer to Brienne’s desk. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, she wasn’t coming down, so I figured I’d go get her myself.”

“You are seeing _her_ for lunch?”

“For that matter, we see each other for dinner every evening. She usually cooks, unless you keep her here too long.”

“But –”

“You never asked, did you?”

Brienne takes the chance for what it is and gets away from the desk, grabbing her jacket and bag, before moving as stealthily as possible next to Jaime. Cersei’s eyes go a fraction wider still.

“I’m, uh, I’m ready when you want.”

“Good. I’m starving.”

So she wasn’t expecting Jaime to grab her hand a moment later.

She doesn’t absolutely do anything to discourage him from keeping on doing it as they walk very calmly towards the elevator.

They’re both completely silent until they walk out of the building.

“What were you even thinking?” Brienne asks the moment they’re out in the open.

“I was done with waiting. And hey, _you_ are the one who stood up to her, not me. I like this whole breaking bad thing you’ve going on, Tarth.”

“Oh, do shut up. And you _knew_ my phone wasn’t on silent, did you?”

“Not really, but wasn’t it just just the cherry on top of the cake.”

“You know that we both pissed her off, don’t you?”

Jaime shrugs as they head towards a small bakery that he guarantees has excellent food, and they haven’t stopped holding hands since they left the building.

“Could be. Ah well, patience.”

“I’m sure you’re not as nonchalant as you’re pretending to be right now. She’s still your sister.”

He shrugs while he pushes the door open with his left hand – he says nothing until they sit and they’re left with two menus, then he starts looking at it with the face of someone who’s not really paying attention.

“You’re right about that, and I might be less nonchalant than I’m looking like right now, but it doesn’t mean that she can just be judge and executioner of my life choices. And I’m sure you’re not that nonchalant about possibly being fired before your next paycheck.”

Brienne shrugs. “It wasn’t a nice working environment. I suppose I can find something better.”

“I still vote for the bakery. And anyway – thing is, there might be one thing I could have learned from the supreme asshole.”

“Who, Walter White?”

“Well, not exactly in the same way. But I mean, the entire point was that he lied to himself all along and kept on with the whole _doing it for his family_ bullshit until he had the, you know, intellectual honesty to just go and say he did it for himself, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t see how that applies to you.”

“Technically it doesn’t. But I might have done a lot of stuff I hated, well, _for my family_ telling myself that it was what I wanted. Back before I went into the force. And when I was doing what I wanted most of them were insisting I was really – on some kind of flight of fancy or something while what I _really_ should have aimed at, was doing what my sister does. Which – guess what – is among the reasons why I was about ready to literally jump off a fucking bridge. If the supreme asshole can have the intellectual honesty to admit all of the above and that he felt _alive_ while he was being a meth lord, I can have the intellectual honesty to admit that I never felt alive doing company work or anything my father and sister hoped that I’d do. If she ever comes around I’m not going to tell her that ship’s sailed but for now she can think what she wants.”

Brienne nods and puts the menu away – she’ll just get whatever’s the special of the day, she doesn’t have the patience to go look through the choices right now. “That sounds more than reasonable,” she has to agree. “I’m just – it can’t be easy.”

“It’s not, but don’t you worry, when I weigh the pros and cons of this specific decision I think there’s a lot more items in the first category.”

“Really? Or is it just that my baking is _that_ good?”

“Could be. _Bitch_.”

Brienne still doesn’t know how they ended up trading fairly vulgar catchphrases as endearments, but she’s fairly sure she wouldn’t have it any other way either. The waiter comes a moment later and they order their food, and for a moment she just basks in the quiet.

That is, until the red haired girl manning the check out murmurs something about not being able to get that damned song out of her head and whatever, everyone knows by now, she might as well just put it on.

Of course, a moment later, she turns on the radio or possibly just starts a playlist – could be either – and _of course_ it couldn’t have been any other song.

 _Guess I got what I deserve, kept you waiting there, too long my love, all that time, without a word_ –

“Guess she’s a fan, too,” Brienne can’t help saying while she smiles in spite of herself.

“Guess I’ll leave her a nice tip,” Jaime agrees.

“Guess I might contribute to it.”

“Doing that even when you almost surely lost your job? You really are too good for this world, but I won’t be the one stopping you.”

“You’d better try. _Bitch_.”

He laughs again and doesn’t he look just breathtaking in the sunlight pouring through the window.

( _So different from that night months ago, isn’t it_?)

And – well, it’s not so bad to just sit and enjoy the silence after all. It’s not even too full of people, so the place is relatively quiet and it almost feels cozy. She doesn’t know if there’s some way she can tell him how all of this is making her feel so happy he could burst, but then –

Then his left hand suddenly covers hers. She looks up to him.

He’s kind of mouthing along with the lyrics.

And it’s _almost_ at –

Oh. Well then.

She doesn’t dare actually singing the lines out loud, but she does mouth along with him at _that_ exact point, while his fingers slowly thread with hers.

_Thought you’d realize, I would know, I would show –_

_The special love I have for you, my baby blue._

 

End.


End file.
